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The Risks And Opportunities Of Loves Born Online

Virtual relationships used to be dating agencies, but the desire to find a soul mate has flourished since before the advent of the Internet. Today with even more danger.

Love is one of those subjects on which there can be no experts but on which we all feel experts. Do you know the mythical marriage agencies of the 90s The ones, to be clear, that Marta Flavi has made a business of Well, before the use of online chats spread, marriage agencies were the main channel for people looking for a partner, with a profile, a personal ad and a real search for a soul mate. thanks to the use of complicated algorithms with which we play quietly on our smartphone today.

Seduction online

Anyone who has tried at least once to approach the world of online seduction knows how very intriguing a virtual love story can be. Especially because it leaves a lot of room for imagination.

In reality, even if we don’t realize it, it is our fantasy that fills in the ambiguities left by the other person and guides our thoughts. Much more than in real life. It is very easy to interpret in our favor and to love what the other lets show through and understand the virtual, in this sense, immediately prevails over the attractiveness of real life.

Who among us would not choose the most beautiful fantasies and dreams over the monotony of everyday life It is undeniable even for those who want to have little to do with the virtual world that digital sociality opens up new opportunities for knowledge a recent study on the genesis of couple relationships, quoted in the book Digital Love by Raimondo Aiello, Rossella Dolce and Fiorenzo Pillai, proves that where you know each other online is booming.

Indeed, among heterosexual couples, contact on the Web such is the second most common form of meeting with a percentage of 23%. In short, it would seem that without the Internet, we would no longer be able to meet new people.

Online dating and romance

But it’s not all roses and just like speed dating, online dating has little to do with romance emoji flirting has nothing to do with kisses, hugs, hugs and hugs. And even if one of the advantages of love on the Net is to be able to be more frank and direct, it is also true that the emotional component is practically reduced to zero.

In other words, virtual dates are certainly not able to make us feel the sensations that derive from a face to face encounter, but they still manage to provoke similar emotions. Or, at least, projections based on what each of us would feel if the situation were experienced in reality at the moment of a click, a conversation with a stranger suddenly turns into a kind of enchanted space in which to live his relationship.

Thus, message after message, the simple sharing of personal experiences of complete strangers becomes a desire to meet and a place of growth in a world where the stimuli travel to a thousand and where the satisfaction of one’s ego is essential.

Comfortable loves

All comfortably seated on the sofa at home or in any case away from prying eyes, in a parallel reality where the concrete and digital dimensions have a very fleeting border but where virtual love today seems to have a mysterious appeal. which places it halfway between the transgressive and the perverse and which fascinates many. At least until he encounters that mixture of real factors of contact, encounter and knowledge, without which a love story cannot exist.

From Freud to the Web

In short, the need to love and be loved was already the only possibility in Freud’s time, but the way to get there changes from one decade to another millennials no longer need anything but dating apps but straddle the hooking culture. up”, i.e. casual sex.

Not that it didn’t exist before, but it’s increasingly becoming a perspective of the digital world where control remains an illusion and the surprises aren’t always so pleasant catfish, for example, or fake profiles , which seek only to entrap people, undermining their self-esteem and creating typical web-dynamic scenarios of fragility such as romance scams and sextortion, primarily affects women. It is a scam in which the victim’s trust, affection and then love are stolen in order to extort money from them. So beware online dating yes, but with caution.

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