Notes to the girl I used to be on grit, glitter, and the courage to stay seen.
By: Victoria King, Senior Security Analyst, DailyPay
Victoria King, Senior Security Analyst, DailyPay
As we embark on Women’s History Month, and with some inspiration from Taylor Swift, I’ve been looking back at the eras of my own life. Like many swifties, Taylor’s lyrics have helped move me through some difficult times and have helped me find my voice in a loud world. Some felt like a mirrorball and shattered me into a million pieces just to reflect what everyone else wanted to see. Many women, including myself, are taught early on that resilience is about silence, about being quiet in a world that asks us to play nice. I’ve learned that true resilience isn’t just about surviving the storm, it’s about the authenticity of dancing in it.
If I could reach back through the years, I would tell that younger version of me that the very things they called ‘too much,’ the ambition, the emotions, and the loud dreams, are actually your greatest inheritance. Here’s what I would tell my younger self:
The Debut of the Fearless Architect: ‘To the girl who feels like she’s ‘too much’ for a world that wants her to be ‘just enough’’: Your enthusiasm will be smashed from a young age but it is going to be your north star. Don’t let the world dim your shine because you will always be bejeweled. You will experience things that you never in your wildest dreams would have imagined. You will become the fearless architect of your life and understand that being brave doesn’t mean not being scared; it means feeling and embracing the fear but walking forwards anyways. In the words of the great Taylor Allison Swift – ‘You’re on your own kid, you always have been’ and as it turns out, you can face this.
Blank Space; You are going to have times where you feel like the world is ending. I know those times will be hard but I promise that you are just clearing space for a better version of you. You will see red and it is important to allow yourself to be angry. Anger can be a sacred tool if you use it to build, not just to burn. However, in some cases that burning is what is clearing your path forward.
Welcome to New York: Independence will be the greatest gift you can give yourself. Cherish the moments of being your own best friend. This is going to teach you to love every part of yourself and heal parts of you that you didn’t know were broken. Get out of your comfort zone, learn another language, experience different cultures, and do it without depending on someone else getting on the flight with you. You are going to end up with the coolest job ever and spend time in NYC. You will go to Japan, England, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Portugal, and many more places. You will meet people (and eat food) that seemed like a fever dream at one point. You will move across the country multiple times and every single time it will be scary but independence is a lesson that can’t be taught in a school.
Just Breathe: Your sensitivity is your super power. Being soft and sensitive in a hard world is going to be your ultimate act of rebellion. Loving people and finally stepping into the daylight isn’t just a lyric, it’s a freeing and powerful moment.
So, Long Story Short: Some seasons will be about surviving and that’s okay. You do not have to be in bloom year round to be a flower. It’s okay to take a step back, rest and then choose your own path over the one that the world expects you to take. You don’t always have to be the one staying on her grind and it is okay to rest after you fight a great war. Remember, it’s not always sunshine – sometimes it’s midnight rain.
You Don’t Have to Tolerate It: Stop editing your soul to make it more palatable. Speak your truth even if your voice gets shaky. Also, always remember that you aren’t always lucky BUT you are always talented. I didn’t just survive, I orchestrated a life I’m proud of and one that from a very young age most people did not think was possible. I overcame stigma from neurodivergence, finished a masters degree and built a career that I thought I would only ever dream of. I was my own mastermind, you can be too.
This month isn’t just about the women in the history books; it’s about the history we are writing in our own skin every single day. It’s about being fearless – not because we aren’t afraid, but because we are doing it anyway.
