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Keeping the Web Gremlins at Bay with WordPress Retainers (especially for businesses!)

“Hey there, web warriors!

Today, we’re diving deep into the world of website maintenance!”

*One more technical piece of information with blabbering of out-of-the-world jargonssss!*

Well, relax and don’t worry! We are not here to *torture* you!

We promise to keep it fun with some puns!

Therefore, without making that grumpy face – just grab your coffee, settle into your comfiest chair, and let’s hear about WordPress retainers from our favourite buddies, Bob and Alice!


“Hey, Alice (no, she is not in Wonderland, stop imagining!), did you hear the one about the website that went on vacation?”


“Nope, what happened? Please don’t crack any jokes – I’m done with that for now!”


“It got stuck in a traffic jam!”

“Websites do need maintenance, just like cars, you know. I never realized it’s important, though!”


“Haha, absolutely, Bob! And speaking of website maintenance, have you ever heard of WordPress retainers?”


“WordPress retainers! Sounds fancy. Explain, please!”


“Well, Bob, a WordPress retainer is like having a superhero for your website.”

“It’s a subscription service where experts keep your website running smoothly, updating plugins, fixing bugs, and even adding fresh content.”


“Ah, so they’re like the web’s janitors, sweeping away the digital dust bunnies?”


“You got it, Bob! 

And they’re more important than ever for businesses. Remember that time when the website crashed during a big sale? It was a disaster!”


“Yeah, the panic calls were hilarious! But seriously, how do these retainers work?”


“Well, Bob, it’s all about proactive maintenance. They regularly check for issues, update software, and make sure your website is secure.”

“It’s like having a personal trainer for your website, keeping it in top shape.”


“Nice! And what about the puns? I’m missing the puns, Alice!”

*Alice be like*



Aahaha, Bob! You can only stay in a serious conversation for up to 5 minutes, right?


Nahh! Even less than that I guess!


Aahaha, I know right! 

Here’s one for you: “Why did the website get locked out? Because it forgot its password!”


Haha, not so perfect, but yeah, let’s continue! 

Now, what do the experts say about WordPress retainers?


Great question! 

Let me throw it in through a quote here to keep it simple for you. 

As Warren Buffet once said, 

“Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.” 

“With a WordPress retainer, you’re investing in the value of a well-maintained website – that’s gonna give you traffic (of your desired target audience), promote your products and services, and never to forget – Pay your monthly bills from the sales!”


“That buffet guy knows his stuff!”

“But can you give me an industry example to understand better, Alice?”


“Sure thing!”

“Imagine a small bakery, say Cupcake Corner. 

They had a WordPress retainer, so when their online store suddenly glitched on Valentine’s Day, the experts swooped in, fixed it, and saved the day. 

Sales soared, and so did Cupcake Corner’s reputation!”


“Oh man!”

Oh man

“So (*lesson learnt*) website maintenance is a must for businesses.”


“Absolutely, for individuals who maintain their personal brands, but when it comes to businesses, there is more loss as the website is their whole and sole. 

The tiniest of crashes or downtimes can affect the online traffic and sales as well as the brick-and-mortar footfall (if they have an offline presence)! 

It’s like watering your plants or feeding your pet goldfish. Neglect them, and things go downhill fast!”


“Alright, but what if someone doesn’t have a WordPress website?”


“No worries about that!

CMSminds, a wordpress development company offers maintenance services even for other than wordpress. 

The key is to find one that suits your needs. It’s like choosing a pizza topping – there’s something for everyone!”


“Great analogy, Alice!”

“So, what’s the takeaway here?”


“Well, Bob, the web is a wild and woolly place. To keep your website from turning into a digital jungle, it’s wise to consider a website maintenance service. 

It’ll save you headaches and maybe even a few late-night emergency calls!”


“Thanks for the chat, Alice! I’ll definitely keep those web gremlins at bay with website hygiene checks.”


“You’re welcome, Bob! And remember, a well-maintained website is a happy website. Keep it punny, my friend!”




So there you have it, folks – the lowdown on website maintenance with a side of humour and puns with Bob and Alice!

Don’t let your website turn into a digital disaster zone!

Consider a maintenance service and let the experts do the heavy lifting. 

Your website will thank you, love you, adore youuuu.. for it, and so will your customers!

(Well, one more announcement!

Come closer and read – cmsMinds have got a team of ‘world class’ experts to help you maintain your ‘world-class’ website – Yes, yes wordpress as well as others! 

Want to know more? We are just a call away from you!)

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